It is finally here!
I have added some missing content and even some new!
Hope you like the stories. I know that it is a long page,
but it is worth the scroll down!
Some came from friends email, and some from personal experiences.
Please share some of you favorite stories with us.
Only kids would come up with this.!!!!-------out of the mouths of babes!!
I was testing the children
In my Sunday school class
To see if they understood the concept
Of getting to heaven.
I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car,
Had a big garage sale
And gave all my money
To the church,
Would that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day,
Mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy,
Would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
By now I was starting to smile.
Hey, this was fun!
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals
and gave candy
To all the children,
And loved my husband,
Would that get me into Heaven?"
I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
I was just bursting with pride for them.
"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."
God, stay with me; let no word cross my lips that is not Your word, no
thoughts enter my mind that are not Your thoughts, no deed ever be done
or entertained by me that is not Your deed. Amen. - Malcolm Muggeridge
WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions.
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home; dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back
What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to
8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have
imagined. See what you think:
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint
her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands
got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend
who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked
at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody.
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him
alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little
stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think
it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked
about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy
said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
If you have funny or heartwarming stories of your kids that you would like to share,
please send them here....
Please tell me if you would like your first name listed with your story.
